There Is NO Bun In This Oven

I have come to realize that part of being a young married couple means that people are eagerly anticipating when you will become a young married parent.  Don’t believe me?  If you are part of a young married couple, try this experiment.  Call in sick to work with an upset stomach and see what happens.  If you’re office is anything like mine, you’ll show up to work only to be greeted by swarms of women smiling at you in a “knowing” way.

This is exactly what happened to me earlier this week.  I’ve been a bit under the weather with a stomach thing and one morning this week I was feeling particularly queasy and called in that I’d be late to work.  When I got to my office, there was so much estrogen swarming around I think I might have spawned a third boob.  All day women were coming up to me and saying, “Soooo….  How are thiiiinnngs….”  and then smiling like goof balls. I had no idea what was going on until one of my co-workers came into my office and announced that everyone thought I was preggers.

That’s right.  One little upset stomach and suddenly my office is full of OB-GYNs.  Allow me to let you all in on a few secrets of the young married childless couple.

1.  If I’m glowing, its because I got a fantastic new self-tanner.  No mystery there.  I’m not rosy with child.  I’m rosy with Jergens Bronzing Lotion.

2.  If I am sick on my stomach, its because I’ve stuffed myself with sushi until I can’t walk.  While pregnancies have been known to cause nausea, so have all-you-can eat sushi buffets.

3.  If I seem a little more happy than usual, its because I’m in the last week of my thesis.  You try completing a masters degree while working full time and tell me if you don’t walk a bit lighter when you’re in the home stretch.

4.  If I look like I’m growing a belly, I have a few four letter choice words for you that I will tell you in private.

Good Lord, people.  I tell you everything.  I’m as open as a 7 Eleven.  When I’m knocked up, you’ll know.  I promise.  But until then, can it with the pregnancy countdowns!  You’re freaking out the husband!



Filed under Marriage

12 responses to “There Is NO Bun In This Oven

  1. This post makes me laugh because this exact thing has happened to me several times. I’ve been married for 2 1/2 years and I got married at 19. So yes, I definitely qualify as a young married couple. Last week I left work early twice for dentists appointments and when I returned, people were gossiping and trying to figure out if I was pregnant. So annoying!

  2. Your blog is interesting!

    Keep up the good work!

  3. I’m sorry that happend to you. It’s got to be a little bit embarassing?

  4. So, so, so, so true. I’ve been married for three years & I’ve heard it from family, friends & coworkers! It freaks my husband out too :o)

  5. Lisa

    Hehehe, I totally understand. My husband actually said in our wedding speech, “Yes we plan on eventually having children but give us a few years to ourselves first!” That’s pretty much stopped our family asking but people at work sometimes can be soooo nosy!

  6. Too funny. And right on the money. That drove me CRAZY when I was first married. We were just happy building our life together as newlyweds and thought that was exciting enough. We weren’t even close to thinking about starting a family, but it was all people could talk (or whisper) about. I couldn’t wear a loose shirt without everyone suspecting something was up.

    I really feel sorry for all the celebs who are supposedly sporting “baby bumps” in the tabloids every time they eat a burger. -Julia 😉

  7. Hahhah…I know what you mean Katie and likewise things happened to me too when I first got married 😉

    Anyway…I got pregnant after three years of my marriage so enjoy yourself first 😀

  8. My sister’s been married less than a year and the baby countdown started from day one. She’s tried to explain they can barely afford their new house, much less another mouth to feed, to no avail. At least you know everyone will be happy for you when and if there is good news to share… 🙂

  9. ALF

    I have a co-worker who, anytime I say anything about anything, replies with “maybe you’re pregnant.” Sadly, I am not.

  10. Jess

    OH my gosh this is so true! I did the same thing last week w/ an upset stomach and my boss smiled at me knowingly……and I was like NOPE. UGH. Not to mention that was a constant thing I dealt with at YSN……geez……….

  11. I definitely know what you’re talking about. Pretty much everybody in my office guessed before I told them simply because I had a couple of doctor’s appointments. People can be so nosy!