I have come to realize that part of being a young married couple means that people are eagerly anticipating when you will become a young married parent. Don’t believe me? If you are part of a young married couple, try this experiment. Call in sick to work with an upset stomach and see what happens. If you’re office is anything like mine, you’ll show up to work only to be greeted by swarms of women smiling at you in a “knowing” way.
This is exactly what happened to me earlier this week. I’ve been a bit under the weather with a stomach thing and one morning this week I was feeling particularly queasy and called in that I’d be late to work. When I got to my office, there was so much estrogen swarming around I think I might have spawned a third boob. All day women were coming up to me and saying, “Soooo…. How are thiiiinnngs….” and then smiling like goof balls. I had no idea what was going on until one of my co-workers came into my office and announced that everyone thought I was preggers.
That’s right. One little upset stomach and suddenly my office is full of OB-GYNs. Allow me to let you all in on a few secrets of the young married childless couple.
1. If I’m glowing, its because I got a fantastic new self-tanner. No mystery there. I’m not rosy with child. I’m rosy with Jergens Bronzing Lotion.
2. If I am sick on my stomach, its because I’ve stuffed myself with sushi until I can’t walk. While pregnancies have been known to cause nausea, so have all-you-can eat sushi buffets.
3. If I seem a little more happy than usual, its because I’m in the last week of my thesis. You try completing a masters degree while working full time and tell me if you don’t walk a bit lighter when you’re in the home stretch.
4. If I look like I’m growing a belly, I have a few four letter choice words for you that I will tell you in private.
Good Lord, people. I tell you everything. I’m as open as a 7 Eleven. When I’m knocked up, you’ll know. I promise. But until then, can it with the pregnancy countdowns! You’re freaking out the husband!