I am The Master

As of 6:03 PM on Sunday night, I am officially finished with my thesis. I submitted my final presentation and paper, got a nice email back from my professor telling me I’ll get my diploma, and then danced a jig that would make any leprechaun jealous. You might remember many moons ago when I told you that I had graduated and was finished with my Masters degree. I must have been drunk. Or maybe just incredibly naive. I stupidly believed that if I was allowed to walk at Graduation and if I had completed all of my courses, I was finished and would just spend a few months messing around with my thesis. As I said. I must have been drunk.

The last few months were harder than the previous year and half that I was in school. I had to take all the research I had acquired and translate it onto paper. And as much as I love to write, there are just not too many ways to make the incorporation of technology and the college internship funny. Especially not when you need to appear like an expert on the topic. So I sludged through it, wrote the paper, and then got to make a fun little movie presentation. I would post the video here for your viewing pleasure, but there are several complications.

1. You may fall asleep while watching it, which would cause your head to hit your keyboard at a dead sleep, which would cause a trip to the hospital for possible internal bleeding in your brain. And after an experience like that, I’m just not sure you would read my blog anymore.

2. You may discover while you watch it that I am a brilliant scholar. This would be a direct contradiction to my past behaviors such as pruning bushes into sticks, raiding mini-bars to spite my mother, and my inability to function around laundry. This confusion could lead to intense contemplation, which could cause spontaneous bleeding in your brain, resulting in a trip to the hospital. And we all know that after an experience like that, you wouldn’t read my blog anymore.

3. I’m thinking about copywriting or patening the product and that would be silly for me to put my multi-bajillion dollar idea out there all unprotected like for you all to steal. And if you steal the idea, I will have to beat you with my shoe, which would definitely cause spontaneous bleeding in your brain, and I’d have to take you to the hospital. And I seriously do not think you would read my blog anymore.

So you see, I cannot possibly divulge my inner scholarly pursuits with you yet, my dear friends. I’m sure you understand. Just know that my project is good. It makes me seem smarter than I am. And, more importantly, its done! Now I have more time to do other things I enjoy like reading books that are not in any form about education, technology, or business management. I think its time I take up a hobby. Maybe I should let my inner airplane model builder shine.

But we all know I’ll probably just take a nap.


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