Party Planning with Your Partner

If you’re thinking about getting married anytime soon, I have some important advice for you. Throw any party you plan on giving at any point in your life right now. Aunt Millie’s 80th birthday? So what if she’s only 68 right now. Throw it. Your parent’s 50th wedding anniversary? So what if they are only on year 47. Throw it. Your sister’s bachelorette party? So what if she’s dating a loser with no hope of ever settling down. Throw it.

Throw them all now. Before you get married. Before you have to make every decision as a couple. Before you lose the power to veto balloon animals at your 30th birthday party. Because when you get married, you become a partner. You decide things together. You plan things as a couple. And suddenly, party planning takes a nasty turn at the dessert table.

Chris and I are throwing a big party this weekend. We are actually throwing ourselves a housewarming party. Lots of friends. Lots of food. Even more beer. In fact, if you’re reading this and you know us and you didn’t get an invite, consider it an oversight because we invited everyone we knew. So come on over Saturday and warm our house. Its gonna be fun. Especially if Chris keeps driving me crazy like he has been doing this week. You might show up to find me beating him like a piñata in our backyard with a shovel. And if I’m feeling really good, I might let you take a swing too. Trust me – I throw a good party.

I understand that this is our first big event at our new house. I understand the need for the house to look the best it can possibly look. But Rome wasn’t built in a day and our flower beds certainly aren’t going to bloom in a week. But still, Chris continues to kill himself trying to make it happen. He wants to paint, to landscape, to remodel, to buy furniture.  And he wants it all done in about a 3 day period.  So he continues to walk around the house like a man on a mission every afternoon after work. I come home after a long day, expecting to be able to relax, or at the very least take off my shoes, but I walk in the house to find him in a crappy mood, covered in dirt from the yard, hanging speakers outside, and shouting directions to me. I’ve started walking around the house carrying a bottle of Lysol so that whenever he yells at me to do something, I can spray whatever piece of furniture is closest to me and say I’m cleaning something.

I know what you’re thinking. “Gosh you’re lucky to be married to someone who takes such pride in your home.” What a load of crap. He’s about two seconds away from me shoving a rake up his ass and turning him into yard art.  I’m sure on Saturday I will be thankful as our guests arrive and tell me what a beautiful house we have. I’m sure I’ll swell with pride and will smile affectionately at Chris (who may or may not be on a pole next to my yard nome). But today, in this moment, he’s driving me crazy.

And now I need to go. I’ve already been awake for half an hour and I haven’t pretended to clean anything yet…

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5 Comments

Filed under Marriage

5 responses to “Party Planning with Your Partner

  1. Pingback: You Need Me! You Really Need Me! « Confessions of a Young Married Couple

  2. I wanna to attend the party folks!!! I’ll be catching the next flight out, transit in Atlanta, pick up some flowers and drive miles & miles to your place….please give me your address so that I can do a mapquest 😉

    Anyhoo, I totally agreed with you Katie I love a good party but when I start to brief Darren on the guests’ list, food, goodies, liquor etc…there’s always some ‘disagreement’ ;(

    I am hesitant to throw a party when he is around…, still I’m sure both of you are going to hav a good time and can’t wait to hear more about it!!

    Have fun folks!! Cheers!!

  3. Oh how I feel your pain. We just about got divorced over what was supposed to be a little New Year’s Eve party, but my husband insisted be some grand spectacle. The kid was ready to clear out our savings account so we could have fancy appetizers and 2 kegs and champagne….. I was ready to say BYOB and throw some meatballs in a crockpot.

  4. Ahhh… love. It’s a delicate balance of give, give, give, beg, give and take.

  5. Chris Brown

    There is one thing I can be sure about too. I can be sure that somehow when someone is saying how good the yard looks, that kate will undoubtedly explain how she helped in the yard too and even spent all day tearing down a vine. And by all day I really mean two weeks, and by “tearing it down” I really mean she tore most of down (after I cut it up for her), while complaining, and left the roots for me to do at my leisure. Oh yeah, and I can’t forget the mushrooms, she picked a few mushrooms.

    What she won’t tell people is how she asks me if she can help and (surprised) I give her something to do, only for her to turn around and say I’m being bossy.

    You know what, all of you un-married couples out there, here is some real advice. Guys, just take one for the team and clean that yard up by yourself. Take pride in it and you will have the best looking yard on the block without having to keep your spouse busy “tearing down vines”. Ladies, stay out of our hair (and our yard) and pretend to clean the bathroom (we all know that I will clean it for real after your done).

    You are a gigantic ass. Get off my blog!!