Time for Some Truth Around Here…

For the past few weeks my blog postings have…well…they’ve sucked, quite frankly.  They aren’t funny.  They aren’t interesting.  They bore me, so I know they must bore you.  A few days ago I tried to blame this on the fact that I have been so preoccupied trying to pick the perfect Halloween candy.  But I lied.  I have been preoccupied, but not with Halloween candy.  

I’m pregnant.

That’s right.  I’m with child.  Knocked up.  Damaged goods.  In the family way.  I’m gonna have a baby!

Whew!  It feels so good to get that off my chest.  And now I will tell you all the funny stories I have been dying to tell you for the past few weeks!

Two weeks ago, Chris and I were out to dinner at our favorite sushi restaurant (lets not tell my doctor that I had sushi the night I discovered I was pregnant.  I’m sure I’ll get a lecture.).  I mentioned something about someone being all PMS-y and I stopped mid-sentence and realized it had been quite some time since I had been PMS-y myself.  So, on the way home I stopped to pick up a pregnancy test.  Just on a whim.  

Three tests and three pink lines later, I had the answer.  I was pregnant.  

When I told Chris, I just had to say his name and he knew.  “Chris?”  I called.  “You’re pregnant,” he said.  So intuitive, that guy.  My ghost white face and shrieking voice couldn’t possibly have given it away.  We then sat on the couch for THREE HOURS.  That’s right THREE.  HOURS. We didn’t really speak, we just sat there in shock.  I guess its hard to find the words when your entire life changes in one second (or 3 minutes, if you use an EPT…).  Later that night, Chris said that he just needed until Saturday (it was Wednesday) to let it sink in his head and then he would be really excited.  So for a few days we really just took it all in.  This was an unexpected shock for us, and that’s a lot to get your head around.  And then Saturday he woke up, and we were set.  

The day after I found out I was pregnant, I made a huge mistake of visiting a pregnancy website.  Don’t do it.  It’ll scare the fetus out of you.  After reading a discussion board called, “How is Your Uterus Today?” (I’m not kidding on that title, by the way), I mistakenly clicked on a photo slide of what your stomach will look like at each month.  Big mistake.  I now check my belly button multiple times every single day to make sure its still, you know, inverted.  I also didn’t pee the entire first day I knew I was pregnant because I was afraid I would pee out the baby.  Since then I have spent some time with my 8th grade anatomy textbook and I realize this is, in fact, impossible.

According to my calculations, I was about 9 weeks along and my belly looked just like it should – rounded and starting to poke out a bit.  Then Chris’ family pointed out that they had a history of twins on their side.  And I remembered my Dad saying he had twins on his side.  And then my belly started getting bigger and bigger.  Bigger than my pregnancy books said it should be at even 9 weeks.  “Oh my gosh!  Am I 9 weeks pregnant with twins?!?!”  I thought.

Friday I had my first ultrasound and they gave me the worst news – twice.  First, I was only 6 weeks along and second, it was only one baby.  This means that my big ol’ belly – it’s all me!  I can’t blame it on one Bean, much less two Beans.  But I don’t care.  I still rub my belly like its full o’ baby instead of full o’ Taco Bell (Dr. Aversa, if you’re reading this, I’m not really eating Taco Bell.  I had a protein and two veggies for dinner just like you said…).

So, that’s it.  The whole truth and nothing but the truth.  I’m so glad its out there now.  It has been weighing on me!  I’m a terrible secret keeper and this is, like, the ultimate secret!  

And now I’m off to go eat something.  Cause that’s what pregnant people get to do.  Eat things.

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16 Comments

Filed under Marriage

16 responses to “Time for Some Truth Around Here…

  1. Congratulations! Very exciting news!

  2. Wow! Congratulations to you both!

  3. You. Are. Hilarious. That’s all there is to it. I love it!

  4. HURRAY!!!! 3 Cheers from Singapore and Congratulation Folks!!!!

    We are so happy to read this and oh what joy, enjoy your pregnancy and be pampered by everyone around you 😀

    Hip Hip Hooray!! 😀

  5. Sarah

    I’m just so happy I have a baby to spoil and knit blankets for. 🙂

  6. (Grand) Dad

    WOW!!! Life is GREAT

    (Grand) Dad

  7. Pam

    Katie and Chris,
    Congratulations! It is a wild ride but please don’t be scared! It is totally worth every single minute (even the nausea and food cravings, and yes, even the birth)! My kids are 17 and 15 and I love them so much – they were worth every bit of pain and discomfort and every pound of weight gain.

    BTW, I loved your post about the ADD dog, Molly. Her antics remind me so much of my ADD dog, Lola. Keep up the great work!

  8. Ginny

    I’m going to be the COOLEST aunt… I’ll feed the Bean candy and grilled cheese and the Bean will BEG to spend the night at my house. Oh little Bean… please hurry up and get here. You’re going to be so much better than getting a dog!

  9. Oh yea… and my husband did not say a word for a good 10 minutes after I told him. I’m not kidding… not a SINGLE WORD. He kinda freaked me out… but finally snapped out of it.

  10. Yes! I’m so excited. Wanna know why? Cause your witty little posts about everyday life make ME feel so boring with all my pregnancy posts… but it’s hard to think of anything else to blog about once you spill the beans! Ok, well that’s not the only reason I’m excited…… I’m really happy for you guys! Congratulations! (ps…. I only have 4 1/2 weeks left and my belly button hasn’t popped yet)

  11. nigel

    Congratulations!

    I hear that pregnancy is quite an experience…..but as a guy, I wouldn’t (and will never) know from experience. I wish you guys the best of luck!

  12. Prasanth

    Congratulations!!
    Have been reading your blog on and off for a couple of months now and this is the first time i am commenting.
    But i could not have found a better post to comment on 🙂

    Congrats and keep being funny

  13. Julie Paul

    Didn’t you feel like those pregnancy tests couldn’t possibly be right? I kept thinking mine must have malfunctioned. It took me 5 tests before I realized this thing might be telling me something! Congrats to you and Chris. You are about to experience a whole new level of love that no one but a parent can understand. Enjoy your pregnancy, it all goes by so fast!

  14. Congrats!!!! Not that your blog needed anymore wit, hilarity and laughs, but I’m sure this will add a whole new element to your already wonderful self. Love your blog… your writing style is fabulous and always filled with humor!

    Now you definitely need a maid…. swear, it’s the best investment in our marriage we’ve ever made. 🙂 Now that you’ll have to cut out all the sushi dinners, it’ll practically pay for itself. Yup.

  15. Mendi McCormick

    Ok…don’t panic 🙂 I can honestly say, pregnancy has it’s well, ups and downs! It’s been really fun on the ‘dr appt days’ and kinda boring on the other days! Very cool to hear the heartbeat and get to see the little “guy” moving around. I’m now 15 weeks along, and will hopefully be finding out the sex next week. I’ll be praying for you and for Chris. It’s a wild ride. I loved reading that you two just sat on the couch and didn’t really talk. Mac and I did the same thing, no talking AT ALL. It took about two days for our news to soak in…now we will just randomly look at each other say, HOLY CRAP, we’re going to be parents! EEKKK!

  16. Mridul Chadha

    Congratulations Katie. Take care 🙂