For the past few weeks my blog postings have…well…they’ve sucked, quite frankly. They aren’t funny. They aren’t interesting. They bore me, so I know they must bore you. A few days ago I tried to blame this on the fact that I have been so preoccupied trying to pick the perfect Halloween candy. But I lied. I have been preoccupied, but not with Halloween candy.
That’s right. I’m with child. Knocked up. Damaged goods. In the family way. I’m gonna have a baby!
Whew! It feels so good to get that off my chest. And now I will tell you all the funny stories I have been dying to tell you for the past few weeks!
Two weeks ago, Chris and I were out to dinner at our favorite sushi restaurant (lets not tell my doctor that I had sushi the night I discovered I was pregnant. I’m sure I’ll get a lecture.). I mentioned something about someone being all PMS-y and I stopped mid-sentence and realized it had been quite some time since I had been PMS-y myself. So, on the way home I stopped to pick up a pregnancy test. Just on a whim.
Three tests and three pink lines later, I had the answer. I was pregnant.
When I told Chris, I just had to say his name and he knew. “Chris?” I called. “You’re pregnant,” he said. So intuitive, that guy. My ghost white face and shrieking voice couldn’t possibly have given it away. We then sat on the couch for THREE HOURS. That’s right THREE. HOURS. We didn’t really speak, we just sat there in shock. I guess its hard to find the words when your entire life changes in one second (or 3 minutes, if you use an EPT…). Later that night, Chris said that he just needed until Saturday (it was Wednesday) to let it sink in his head and then he would be really excited. So for a few days we really just took it all in. This was an unexpected shock for us, and that’s a lot to get your head around. And then Saturday he woke up, and we were set.
The day after I found out I was pregnant, I made a huge mistake of visiting a pregnancy website. Don’t do it. It’ll scare the fetus out of you. After reading a discussion board called, “How is Your Uterus Today?” (I’m not kidding on that title, by the way), I mistakenly clicked on a photo slide of what your stomach will look like at each month. Big mistake. I now check my belly button multiple times every single day to make sure its still, you know, inverted. I also didn’t pee the entire first day I knew I was pregnant because I was afraid I would pee out the baby. Since then I have spent some time with my 8th grade anatomy textbook and I realize this is, in fact, impossible.
According to my calculations, I was about 9 weeks along and my belly looked just like it should – rounded and starting to poke out a bit. Then Chris’ family pointed out that they had a history of twins on their side. And I remembered my Dad saying he had twins on his side. And then my belly started getting bigger and bigger. Bigger than my pregnancy books said it should be at even 9 weeks. “Oh my gosh! Am I 9 weeks pregnant with twins?!?!” I thought.
Friday I had my first ultrasound and they gave me the worst news – twice. First, I was only 6 weeks along and second, it was only one baby. This means that my big ol’ belly – it’s all me! I can’t blame it on one Bean, much less two Beans. But I don’t care. I still rub my belly like its full o’ baby instead of full o’ Taco Bell (Dr. Aversa, if you’re reading this, I’m not really eating Taco Bell. I had a protein and two veggies for dinner just like you said…).
So, that’s it. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. I’m so glad its out there now. It has been weighing on me! I’m a terrible secret keeper and this is, like, the ultimate secret!
And now I’m off to go eat something. Cause that’s what pregnant people get to do. Eat things.