Everyone told me when I became pregnant that I would go through some crazy changes. But mostly, they talked about the crazy physical changes. I was ready for those. It seems obvious that with a human being growing inside of you that your body would really need to make some room, so I haven’t been really freaked out about that part. But there are some crazy changes going on with me that are effecting my personality, and that has me a wee bit scared.
First of all, my eating habits have changed. Lets stop to celebrate that I am, in fact, able to eat again. YAY FOOD! But I’m eating weird things at strange times. I have never been a big breakfast person. Two pieces of buttered toast was about as lavish as I get. Dinner was always my big meal. I could eat my whole dinner plate and then half of Chris, if he’d let me. And I never snacked between meals. Now? I am waking up at 5:00 every morning thinking about breakfast. And not just toast and fruit. I’m thinking about bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches, turkey sandwiches on a bagel, pancakes and waffles, fresh squeezed fruit juice. I want a Sunday morning breakfast every day of the week. And dinner is pretty much non-existant. I can’t stand the smell or taste of chicken anymore (WHAT?!?!) and I pick at whatever is on my plate. As for snacking, I’m pretty much a professional now. I pack my hot pink lunch box everyday with 4 or 5 different snack options. Granola bars, pretzels, strawberries (which I can’t get enough of lately), cheese, chocolate milk. I’m an equal opportunity snacker.
Aside from my eating habits, I’m changing in my neediness. While I have always been fairly dependent on Chris for household things like raking the yard and changing the lightbulbs (read: would die without him), I have never been really needy for affection. I mean, we’re cuddlers and all. But I don’t NEED to be around him all the time. Lately though? I can’t be away from him. Last night we were watching TV. Together. In the same room. 3 feet apart from eachother. And I still needed to hold his hand. Some nights while he is cooking dinner, I just stand next to him with my arms around his waist. Now, Chris is not pregnant. So, I don’t think his need to be close to me all the time has changed at all. This has made me somewhat of a nuisance. I’m ALWAYS around. And I’m not just around, I’m standing right next to him, or sitting on his lap, or roosting in his neck. Makes it kind of hard for him to get anything done. But I don’t care. For some reason, I have just needed him to be closer lately. Its starting to slightly annoy me, so I’m hoping this part goes away soon. No one likes a needy pregnany lady! But for now, its kind of nice.
Another thing that is different about me is my vision. I can’t remember if I’ve read anywhere that pregnancy effects your vision, but it seems to be effecting mine. My glasses are the wrong prescription now and when I don’t wear glasses, I can’t see anything at all. This could actually just be a natural progression of my vision and have nothing at all to do with my pregnancy, but it feels related to me.
And the last thing is not something that is totally far from my normal personality, but its just heightened. I seem to be fine living amongst filth. I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m not the greatest cleaning person in the whole world. I clean where it counts – sometimes. But I don’t move furniture to vaccuum and I don’t dust lampshades and things. (My mother is hanging her head in shame right now.) But lately, its gone to a whole new level. If I don’t clean my toilet soon, it may spawn children of its own. Which is odd because you would think anyone who had spent as much time with her head in the toilet as I have these past few weeks would want a clean toilet to stick her head into. Nope. I don’t really care. And the dog hair/dust bunnies/tumbleweeds that are blowing around my house are almost life-size dogs now. Lucy could use them as nests. And I say this without embarrassment either. That’s another change in my personality. I would be mortified to admit any of this before. Now? Not so much…
So, that’s how my womb is changing me. One meal, one cuddle, one eye drop, one toilet bowl at a time. This kid. He’ll never know what I went through to bring him into the world. Sacrifices, people. Sacrifices.