Big Mac Babies

This past week while my parents were visiting, my mom told me a funny story about a dream that actually changed her.  She said that around the time I was born, they had just started using handicap parking spaces.  She didn’t take them seriously at all, and considered the fact that she had two children under the age of 3 to be her handicap so she parked in those spots at will.  Then, one night she had a dream that God spoke to her.  He asked her if she considered her children to be a handicap in her life.

“Uh, no, sir,” she responded.

“Well then maybe you should quit parking in those handicap parking spaces,” God said.

And she did.  She never parked in another handicap space.

I thought that story was so funny and so silly.  I mean, who really changes their behaviour because of a dream?  And then I had this dream last night, and now I totally understand.

Lately, I have been eating nothing but crap.  I can’t tell you the last time I had a piece of fruit or a vegetable that wasn’t drenched in butter or wrapped in bacon.  I have just really been craving crappy food.  Pizza, Taco Bell, nachos – I’ll eat it all.  Especially McDonalds.  And I don’t even LIKE McDonalds.

But last night, I had a dream.  I dreamed that I had my baby and when they placed him in my arms, I put my face down to his and just inhaled his good baby smell.  Only, he didn’t have a good baby smell.  He smelled like McDonald’s french fries.  I kept sniffing around to see what else that smell could be coming from, but it was definitely coming from my baby.  And then all the doctors and nurses started smelling it and no one wanted to hold the baby because he smelled like a Fry Daddy.  Even Chris was like, “This baby smells funny.”

I think that’s a dream I should pay attention to.  If I don’t start eating better, the signs are very clear.  I am going to give birth to a McDonald’s french fry.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “Big Mac Babies

  1. I think people were afraid to hold him for fear they would eat him up. McDonald’s fries are delicious.

  2. jmliz

    LOL – When I was prego (maybe about 13 weeks or so) – we spent a Sunday in NYC – going to the Cloisters Museum and then downtown… Well after a morning tour of the Cloisters – I was so so so so sick and the only thing I could think of was that I HAD to have a McDonald’s Super Value Meal or I was sure to DIE. Flash forward to me ravenously slurping down a Sprite with 2 cheeseburgers and a Large Fry with Ketchup/Mayo as the dip. This big, and I mean Santa Claus big, jolly guy comes up to me, smiles, and says, “Man, isn’t that the BEST combo? (gesturing to my mayo/ketchup dip) I’m going up for my second cup of mayo for my fries.” I had no choice but to agree, since it was saving my life at the moment. This is from me: Who admittedly loves to eat, but generally does not go the super value meal route, much less the MAYO and FRIES route :). My husband and my sister-in-law just amiably agreed with the two of us, and after the friendly gentleman had left our site, they then died laughing. Thankfully, I didn’t only eat McD’s for 9 months, but gosh, there are times when you’ve just got to have what you’ve got to have when your prego. What a funny dream! I don’t think your baby will smell like a Fry Daddy – maybe more like an ice cream cone :).

  3. archiveslives

    …Hello? What’s a belly-cast? Why can’t I see it? Whatever it is, it sounds hilarious, judging from the comments. I am now deeply saddened I missed out on hilarity, and cannot comment on this post, because I can’t focus on anything but what I don’t have.

  4. I just wanted you to know…you have officially scarred me from EVER having children. 🙂
    MMMMM but I am craving some McDonalds fries…..mmmm