I have had to get used to a lot of weird, strange things during my pregnancy. Sleeping on my side, having my ribs kicked from inside me, unusually large ankles… All these things take some time to adjust to, and for the most part I have adjusted pretty well with time. But no matter how long I am pregnant or how often I hear them, there are some words used during pregnancy that I will never ever get used to.
Like pllllllacennnnta. Or embry-o.
But nothing takes the cake more than DILATED. I hate that word! DILATED. Your eyes dilate – not your…you know. Whose idea was it to call it dilating??? It had to be a man. What woman would willingly describe herself as dilating???? You might as well yell out, “MY VA-JAY-JAY IS OPENING!!!!!” I mean, really. Come on. We can’t find a better way to refer to that?
Or, I have an idea. How about we NOT refer to that? How about we leave that as one of those unspoken things that we don’t have to talk about? I will never, ever, in a million years mark the progress of my delivery by dilation. Ever. I won’t even allow my doctor to tell me. I’d like for my doctor to refer to it in temperatures. I’d like for him to come in and tell me, “You’re getting warmer!” That makes me think that I’m getting closer to a big prize as opposed to getting closer to shooting a large object out of me.
And now I have to end this post. I’m grossing myself out.