True Marriage Confessions

I have been accused of not confessing enough about my marriage on this blog.  At first, I thought that was a load of crap.  I give more information than anyone would ever want to know about me.  But the implication here was that I didn’t tell enough secret stuff – things about my marriage that no one really knows (or probably cares about).  Well, we can’t have that!  This is a full disclosure website and I’m willing to step up to the plate.

Without further adieu, I give you:


1. Sometimes when Chris is downstairs, I call him on his cell phone and ask him to bring me food.

2. One time, Chris and I locked ourselves out of our house because we were making out on the back porch and forgot to check that one of us had a key.  This was last year.

3. I forged Chris’ name last year when we signed our Living Wills.

4. I secretly love my dog, Lucy, more than Chris.  

5. On Saturday mornings when I get up really early, I sometimes kick Chris until he wakes up.  And then I act like I was sleeping and ask him to make me breakfast since he’s already awake.

6. We both have a crush on Jennifer Aniston.

7. We’ve had the same nickname for each other for 10 years.  Pookey.  (Pronounced Pooooookey)

8. Every time Chris has a major milestone event, I give him a lucky coin.  He keeps them in a little dish next to our bed.

9. Sometimes I hide in the bathroom when its time to shovel snow.  

10. One day we both called in sick to work so that we could stay in our pajamas all day and play Wii.

11. One time I rear-ended Chris’ car at a stop light because I was talking on my cell phone.

12. Since I’ve been pregnant, Chris has done the dishes and cleaned the kitchen every single day.  He never complains.

13. When Chris talks to the Bean, he uses the same voice he uses when he plays with our dogs.

14. When Chris stays up later than me, I just lay in bed and wait for him.  Sometimes I sit at the top of our stairs and throw things down to where he’s sitting until he comes to bed, like pennies and washcloths and shoes.

15. Every night, Chris throws his spare change in a jar on our kitchen counter.  Every morning I take change out of the jar to pay the parking meter and to buy snacks out of the vending machines.

16. When Chris snores (when he’s been drinking), I kick him.  When I snore (because I’m preggo), he rubs my face gently until I wake up.

17. I rearrange our Netflicks list so that my movies come up first.

18. I don’t put my parking tickets in our checkbook register until the end of the month so that Chris doesn’t see them.  I get a lot of parking tickets.

19. Chris bites his fingernails down to nubs and the noise drives me freaking crazy.  He also chews ice loudly and that drives me even more crazy.

20. Chris and I talk on Google Chat all day while we are at work.  We send each other messages like, “I just broke my stapler” and “My sandwich is soggy.”

21.  I hate going to bookstores with Chris because he just follows me around.  

22. I’m a better griller than Chris, but he won’t admit that.  But he knows.

23. If we won the lottery, Chris said he would quit his job and become a mechanic.  Just because he has never worked on cars before and he wants to learn.  

24. Chris has a shot glass collection from all the places we’ve traveled.  I hate that collection.  I think its trashy.  He loves it and built a display case for it to hang in our house.  Its hanging in our basement.  I think that’s a fair compromise.

25. We still celebrate our dating anniversary every year.  April 29.  

There.  Now you have even more confessions.  Never let it be said that I didn’t give the people what they wanted.


Filed under Husbands, Random

12 responses to “True Marriage Confessions

  1. Pingback: Confessions « Living Life

  2. misskcee22

    I found this so hilarious I actually had my boyfriend come in to read it! 🙂 You’re blog cracks me up. And your twitter account to. Thanks for the laughs.

  3. Kristin

    This is hilarious! You should try texting. Sometimes, when I’m ready for bed, I will text the husband. It takes less time and it’s equally as obnoxious. 🙂

  4. Awesome post – I love the juicy stuff!! :o) And #19 is so true for my husband too.

  5. bookishpenguin

    This was really entertaining… I think I might write something like this myself. I always say only the people really IN a relationship know anything about it, but things like this really add a little color to the picture. (I’d hate that shot glass collection, too.)

  6. emilyroseposts

    Ahh, the secret shot glass display case. Memories.

  7. What did we ever do before gchat?

  8. Well holy shnikies…if you don’t have the sweetest husband ever. You’re gonna make a lot of girls jealous (including me… cleans the house every day! pshaw!) I have a crush on Jennifer Aniston too and I call my husband from bed sometimes to brings me things too. And I’m glad to hear you’re available during work hours on google chat… I am too! Let’s chat sometimes!

  9. Colleen

    My all-time favorite post was probably the first one I ever read, the one that got me hooked. It was about Chris and his lawn. Being newly married and a new homeowner, my husband has identical characteristics. We’ve even gone to the second floor window and looked down to admire how gorgeous and plush it is. I have pictures of our lawn, of husband mowing the lawn, of the patch of lawn he fixed from hard earth, to little sprigs of lawn to plush soft carpet-y lawn. Men and their lawns- so funny.

    Other similarities- I was excited to hang my autumn wreath, I often ask him to rub my calf (but he doesn’t do it). I love the stories about your marriage b/c they are so relate-able. When I can’t relate, you are so damn funny I just laugh and laugh anyway.

  10. Loving the full disclosure. Thanks.
    PS. #11 is hilarious, #17 I used to do the same and #24 my hubby collects everything and I make him keep it in his man room too, that is why they have them.


  11. Lori

    Do people really write to you and say “Your blog isn’t confession-y enough?!” Crazy! I hope they find this entry acceptable. I really enjoyed this post!

  12. Ram Venkatararam

    You should send this to Chris’ buddies and colleagues at work. I think they’d like know about this stuff…