This is Why I Don’t Work Out

Last August I joined Bally’s Total Fitness in my town.  I thought it would be a great way for me to take some yoga and aerobics classes, and I really needed to get in better shape.  I specifically chose Bally’s because they were one of the few gyms who offered month-to-month memberships, meaning I could cancel at any time.  When I went in to join, the gym representative (for the sake of anonymity we’ll call him “Satan”) told me that the month-to-month special was still running.  Because I knew what my dedication level was, I asked about a thousand times, “And you’re sure that I can cancel this membership at any time?” and “Satan” responded about a thousand times, “Of course!

Great!  Sign me up!

Jump ahead to the end of September.  I have now been to the gym twice.  Once on the day I joined and once because I forgot my iPod on the day I joined and I had to go back to get it.  Clearly, I was wasting my money and so I called my gym representative and said that I wanted to please cancel my gym membership.  This is the point where I was informed that I had signed a 2 year contract and, therefore, was obligated to pay for the next 2 years.  I calmly explained to the gentleman that there must be some mistake, as “Satan” had clearly stated my contract was month-to-month and eligible to be canceled at any time.

“No,” the gym representative argued.  “You’re in a 2-year contract.  No cancellations.”

“Sir,” I said.  “I’ve been to the gym twice.  I eat Ruffles potato chips for breakfast.  I sometimes spend entire weekends without once getting off my couch.  I have been known to walk my dog by driving a golf cart next to her while she runs.  Do I sound like the kind of person who would sign a 2-year gym membership contract?”

Apparently, that doesn’t matter in the wacko world that is gym memberships, and I have been forced to continue paying my gym membership since August.  I tried using my pregnancy to get out of it, but I had to have a note from my doctor saying I was a high risk pregnancy and that exercise could compromise the baby.  My doctor wants me to exercise more, so that was out of the question.

I even tried explaining to the gym representative what “Satan” had promised me and assured me.  The gym representative said that “Satan” had actually been fired for promising similar things to other clients and he then suggested that I write in to appeal to the Bally Fitness corporate office, which I did immediately.  Which they rejected immediately.

Short story, I’m stuck in this membership.

And the only person who is more annoyed than me is Chris.  I thought he was going to kill me.

“What would possess you to join a gym?” he demanded.

“I thought I would get healthy and fit,” I argued.

“Are you healthy and fit now?”

“Not exactly.”

Needless to say, it has been a sore spot for several months now.

The baby is due June 3 and Chris has already declared that on June 6 he is dropping me off at the gym until I work off all the money we’ve paid for that stupid membership.  And every day he is going to drop me back off there until the 2-year contract is up.  I laughed and giggled when he said this and told him he was cute when his veins popped out of his neck like that.

But the closer we get to June 6, the more he is talking about this dropping me off at the gym thing.  Last night we were at dinner with my parents and in the middle of a conversation about how excited we all were about the baby coming, Chris turns to me and says, “What you should be excited about is your gym membership.  June 6 is right around the corner.”

Now, I’m getting worried.  He might, like, be serious.  I might have to, like, work out.  And I am dreading that possibility almost more than the whole shooting a kid out of me thing…

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15 Comments

Filed under Husbands, Marriage, Money, pregnancy

15 responses to “This is Why I Don’t Work Out

  1. Steven

    The same thing happened with me and Bally’s. I had a friend that was a lawyer and got me out of it, it took a long time and several F U letters. It was a month to month and I had three months before I moved ( some how month to month means long contract). They said that since a balleys was 50 miles from where I was moving they could not do any thing. I stopped payment from the bank and the harassed me for 3 years, but they never got another dime.

  2. I am right there with you, I joined 24 hour fitness in October and have not been once. At first I blamed it on the fact that they did not send my membership card, that as soon as they sent that to me I would most certainly go. hahaha…I got it in December and what is it now? March? Haven t gone yet…but I will…I promise….

  3. maureenlynn

    I know how you feel about the gym. I joined a gym back in October and I dread going there. It’s inconvenient, hard work, and I only like one class, which is offered one time a week at 7pm. It is very hard to drag my lazy butt anywhere besides my refrigerator or the couch at that point. And since I joined, my boyfriend makes plans not to do anything with me on certain days of the week so I can go work out, even though I secretly wish he would come over or something so I can have an excuse not to go.

  4. Diana

    I laughed and giggled when he said this and told him he was cute when his veins popped out of his neck like that.

    That made me laugh.

    You’ l l thank your hubs! Having the baby around I’m sure you’ll appreciate some free time, even if it spent exercising

  5. Ha! That is hilarious and terrible!!!! So sorry! Tell Chris to carry that lil beaner!

  6. Hilary

    Pssst! Here’s some insider info from a self-proclaimed loafer who hates diet and exercise (I lost my baby weight by getting the flu – woo hoo!!). First, you aren’t supposed to exercise until six weeks post delivery. Also, if you are breast feeding, your baby might be less likely to feed and more likely to be fussy after your workout since lactic acid can build up while you exercise and sour your breast milk. Oh and if you feel faint, short of breath or dizzy while you work out, you should stop immediately for obvious health reasons. I don’t know about you, but just thinking about exercising makes me feel faint and dizzy.

  7. Becca

    I have heard similar horror stories about Bally’s – bummer! Then, again, I’m with Chris. Might as well get your value out of it – for both your and your baby’s sake! It only takes 2 weeks to make it a habit. Now, if he were being TRULY supportive, he’d join and go with you.

  8. Gina

    I hate, hate, hate Balleys…with a passion..

    They must have a whole litigation department for people like us. They did with me too, told me it was a month to month deal, little did I know I got locked into a contract too.

    Also, did you know you are not paying for a membership, rather, Balleys lent you money to pay off the entire membership in full and your “membership” is actually loan? Yep! This is what they don’t tell you..

    Anyway, I ended up taking them to court, fat lot that did me, they ended up releasing me from my contract but I couldn’t get my money back.

    I hate them with a passion, the amount of time and effort it took on my part. Thank goodness my mother works for a law firm, so all my legal help was free. Be careful with them, when your obligation is up, make sure you end all contact with them!

  9. Your whole post had me giggling aloud. Congratulations on the not going to the gym – I have done it loads of times and it’s always so much more fun than going. Except swimming – I don’t know if your Bally’s has a pool or if you even like swimming. I second Anon’s advice above re: BBB. Can’t hurt to give it a try. Or, … just spitballing here – you could go and take it slow. Or you could sneak in a magazine in your bag and after cheerfully waving your husband good bye sit down to enjoy this month’s fare in its glossy pages. He will be so impressed by how well you are taking this. Just a thought. 🙂

    http://venusreinvented.blogspot.com

  10. Oh Katie, I am in the same boat!!! My husband, luckily, is giving me a couple of weeks to recooperate from labor before I have to pay off my debt. However, he is already telling me about my workouts that he has planned. Good luck trying to get out of that one. I keep reminding him that I am not a professional athlete…

  11. Kristin

    HAHAHAH!! This is awesome.

  12. Anon E Mouse

    To get out of it simply go to the better business bureau and fill out a complaint. In the complaint ask for a refund of your money from the point where you tried to cancel the membership though what they have charged you so far. I’ve had to pull out the BBB angle a couple times and it has always worked. They won’t listen to you – but the bad mark on their record makes them more likely to see the light. Also – they should honor it if they know that “satan” had made other similar promises.

  13. I can see a new love interest sweeping into your life sometime around June 6th. A hot and steamy relationship with the workout love doctor (aka Mr. Bally). I have already talked to Mr. Bally and he knows your a little shy… but don’t worry…. he’s a little shy too! You two will get along great! Before you know it, Mr. Bally will be taking you to Sushi Palace and rubbing your ankles for you! It will be a glorious one year fling. Little does he know you will sadly have to leave your fling in Aug. of 2010 so you can see your sweet husband and beautiful baby boy again… But i’m sure he will get over it. And don’t worry about me and the little beaner, we understand your hot and steamy love affair is necessary, and will be there for you through the ups and downs and fights and struggles. We love you no matter what.

  14. I finally gave up on gyms and joined the Y after having about the third one close out from under me — no refunds there, either