Its All Baby

Have I mentioned that I’m huge?  That I rival a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon?  That I scare small children?  Have I mentioned that lately?

In my first trimester, I wanted to be big so badly.  Every morning I would wake up and ask Chris if I looked any bigger today.  “Not yet,” he’d usually respond, and then I’d get pissed.

13 Weeks

13 Weeks

In my second trimester, I finally started to show and I loved it.  I paraded my belly around like it was a prized possession.  When I’d see someone I hadn’t seen in a while, I’d happily announce, “Aren’t I huge?!?”

22 Weeks

22 Weeks

Now that I am in my third trimester, I’m ready to kill someone.  Preferrably the next person who tells me how big I am.

Week 30

Week 30

I know people mean well.  I know they say it with happiness and joy.  But, honestly, why would you tell an obscenely large pregnant lady that she looks huge?  Do you think she doesn’t know that already?  Its like walking up to a blind person and being all, “Hey!  You can’t see!”  Most people at least make the effort to be polite when they tell me I’m huge by making the comment, “Its all baby!  Good for you!”

What the hell does that mean?  Its all baby?  No kidding.  I’M PREGNANT.  What ELSE would it be if it wasn’t a freaking baby?  But they use the “all baby” remark as a way to make me feel better.  As opposed to saying, “You’re huge!  Lovin’ those Girl Scout cookies, huh?”  I guess that would be worse.  A lot worse.  I may actually kill someone over that remark, or at the very least I’d sit on them…while eating Girl Scout cookies.  That might make me feel better.

But, for the record, putting the disclaimer of “its all baby” on the end of any kind of statement about a third trimester pregnant lady’s weight does NOT erase the fact that you just called her enormous.   I mean, who are you kidding?  We all know its not ALL baby.  You and I both know that I’m not expecting to give birth to a 30 pound newborn.  If you feel that you must comment on my size (and who can blame you – its like having an actual elephant in the room), then I’d go with a nice, “You are glowing!” or “What a sweet belly!”

The next person who tells me I’m huge and that – lucky me – it’s all baby is getting a pencil right in their eye.

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9 Comments

Filed under Changes, pregnancy

9 responses to “Its All Baby

  1. Girl I know exactly how you feel!!! I did a post about it too. I just dont understand what gives people the right to say things like that. Especially women who have been pregnant before. Dont they remember? One woman told me I looked full term at 26 weeks. I about died. I hate to tell you but you only get bigger and more uncomfortable from here. God really knew what he was doing because after being pregnant for 40 weeks you will about do anything to get the baby out. So my friend, enjoy some girl scout cookies. You deserve it.

  2. Pingback: Archives of Our Lives » I’m Not as Good as Some People Think.

  3. Gina

    I think you look beautiful!!

    I have put my foot in my mouth too many times when it comes to pregnant women.

  4. Meghan

    I’m with Alison, you look tiny to me :), oh and glowing. Like tinkerbell. Yep, just like tinkerbell.

  5. I just burst out laughing at the thought of someone saying, “Must be all those Girl Scout cookies,” to a fat person. How are you so funny?

  6. Ginny

    Well shit… I’ve been telling every pregnant person I know how great they look and big they are getting. Ugh — insert foot in mouth.

    You look pretty and pregnant. Will that work?

  7. Hey, not saying a word about the actual belly size/shape/roundness…nothing… just gonna say… you are definitely cute pregnant! =)

  8. Alison

    It could be worse. You could be having twins like me!!!! People tell me “You look like your going to pop any day now” and when I tell them I still have three months to go their jaws fall to the floor.

  9. Chris Jarrett

    At the risk of getting a pencil in my eye through the internet…a lady in my department here at Vandy gained something like 105 lbs during her pregnancy. It was unreal!