Category Archives: Random

You Asked For It…

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One of the questions that I get the most on Marriage Confessions is when is Chris going to blog.  Well…you asked for it.  Chris will post his first blog post this Wednesday, March 11.  I’ve stolen his laptop and read what he’s working on and its pretty hysterical.  Be sure to check in on Wednesday and see a new side of our marriage.

Also, the first Marriage Confessions Giveaway will be this Thursday, March 12.  Check in and leave a comment to be entered into the prize pool.  A winner will be announced on Friday, March 13.  I don’t want to build it up too much, but let me just say that its going to be life changing.  Oprah dreams of these kinds of give aways.  I’m just sayin’….

And what, you may ask, is all of this hullabaloo this week for?  Why, its to celebrate the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF CONFESSIONS OF A YOUNG MARRIED COUPLE! On Friday, March 13, I will celebrate my one year anniversary of telling the world too much about my marriage.  In honor of this blessed day, Chris is blogging and we’re giving crap away.  I mean, can life get any better?

I think not.

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You Asked For It!

Last Friday was the first Friday Freeforall on Marriage Confessions, with a chance for a little Q&A action.  Thanks for all those who submitted questions in the comments section and via email.  I had a great time answering them.  Some of the questions were so good that they will require their own posting to answer in complete detail, but I’ve filed those away and will post on them in the coming weeks. So if you don’t see your question answered today, keep checking.  You may end up with your own post!

So, here we go… 

1.  What are the ups and downs of picking out baby paraphernalia?  

The up of picking out baby paraphernalia is definitely the registry.  I’m sure that it has something to do with the fact that I can’t shop for myself right now because of this new BFH (Budget From Hell – which is actually going incredibly well), but the registry is worlds of fun.  Its like shopping without having to pay any money.  I log in to just look at my registry at least twice a day.  I like seeing everything displayed together.  Makes me happy.  And I use my registry as a shopping list for me.  Whenever I have a little extra cash flow, I log into my registry and pick something out.  Its a great way to keep track of what I’m spending and buying.  

The downside of the baby paraphernalia is that we are the first of our friends to have a baby, so sometimes its hard to find second opinions about things.  Picking things like strollers and high chairs and diaper bags is something that Chris and I really want to do together.  Its all part of the fun of preparing, and those are some of the only things that we actually have control over right now.  But there are certain things that we just HAVE to ask for some help with.  And learning to do that has been very…well…humbling.  Its such a stark reminder that we don’t know what the crap we’re doing!  We can’t even find the right kind of bottle sterilizer, for crying out loud!  How are we going to raise a baby?!?!  But we’re also learning that most people don’t know that kind of thing until their baby arrives.  Apparently parenting is a work in progress, which is a lovely thing to know!

2.  What did Chris do for you for Valentine’s Day and was it the whole Shebang?

 For Valentine’s Day, I did NOT get diamonds…(sigh)…BUT my Valentine’s Day was absolutely the whole shebang.  I was sleeping my way through New York that day and afterwards, I met Chris when he was done working (he works in the city).  We went to dinner at the restaurant that we went to the night we got engaged.  Its our favorite little restaurant in New York, Joe Allen.  Its not fancy or famous, but it has good food in a great atmosphere.  And more important than any of that, its OUR spot.  And they have hot, fresh, Tollhouse cookies for dessert with a scoop of ice cream.  To die for.  We had a great time and talked about the baby coming and how exciting that was.  We talked about how good we were doing with our money.  We talked about our past Valentine’s Days and how far we’d come.  Short of making out at the table, it was a great love fest.  

After dinner we went to see In the Heights on Broadway.  It was good, but not as great as we were hoping it would be.  But the music was awesome, and that’s really what we went for so in that sense it was perfect.  Diamonds or not, it was a really great Valentine’s Day.  

3.  Someone asked me the questions that James Lipton always asks at the end of Inside the Actors Studio.  I love that show!!

A.  What is your favorite word?  Twinkle
B.  What is your least favorite word?  Dialated
C.  What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?  Seeing passion or drive in someone
D.  What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?  Laziness
E.  What sound or noise do you love?  Walking on gravel or Chris’ car pulling in the driveway
F.  What sound or noise do you hate?  My cell phone ringing
G.  What is your favorite curse word?  PISS ANT!  (I don’t know if that’s a curse word or not…)
H.  What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?  Author
I.  What profession would you not like to do?  Accountant (my palms get sweaty just thinking about numbers)
J.  If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?  I’m proud of you.

4.  What staples you always have in your fridge?

 Salsa, Tabasco hot sauce, bacon, eggs, cucumbers, Clausen’s pickles, iceberg lettuce, and – since I’ve been pregnant – lots of strawberries.

5.  How are you doing avoiding Target and how are you doing it?  

I am doing awesome with my Target addiction, thankyouverymuch.  I have bought no new shoes, no new make up, no new stationary or notecards.  Nothing.  I’m clean and Target-free.  I’m doing so well because of one little rule I made for myself.  I do NOT go to Target unsupervised anymore.  Never.  Ever.  Otherwise, I walk in for dish detergent and I find myself walking the purses and accessories aisle with my hands full of scarves and sunglasses.  Suddenly a $3.50 trip to Target would become a $150.00 trip.  Now, if I have to go at all for things like shampoo and toothpaste and instant brownie mix (IT WAS JUST ONE TIME, PEOPLE!  DON’T JUDGE!) I take a sponsor with me.  A partner.  A body guard.  Someone to keep me focused and on track.  Someone to forcefully escort me away from the new spring cardigans.  Someone named Chris.  Somehow, walking those bright red aisles with Chris at my side whispering quietly into my ear, “Do you really need that?” just takes all the fun out of my Target game.  

A lot of people asked about the baby nursery and the reason I haven’t ever written anything about it and am not doing it now either is because it isn’t finished yet!  I want to do a big unveiling of the nursery once I deem it “finished.”  I am waiting for one more little thing – the most adorable lamp in the world – to complete my ensemble and then you’ll get pictures…Oh, man, will you get pictures.  So, those are coming.  

Thanks again for your shout outs!  Happy Monday!

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Friday Freeforall!

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Its finally Friday folks!  I’ve never been so ready for a weekend.  My feet are fried, my brain is battered, and my hair is frizzy.  Its just been that kind of a week.

As a result, I am in no condition to blog today.  Unless you want to hear me complain about the very rude landscape man who wouldn’t stop blowing leaves on the sidewalk long enough to let me pass this morning and so I came to work with leaves and sticks in my hair…  No?  Not interested in that story?  Then you are going to have to provide me with more material for a posting cause that’s as good as I get today.

Occasionally, I am sent questions either through emails or in the comments section of my postings.  I try to answer what I can, but let’s be honest.  I’m lazy most of the time.  I’m also pretty crappy at following up on stories I write.  I tell about things that are about to happen or problems I’m having and then never tell how they worked out.  Apparently this irks a lot of people because I get emails about that a LOT.  “How could you leave me hanging?”  “I’m waiting on pins and needles to find out how that ended…”  “I haven’t bathed in a week because I keep hitting refresh on my computer to see if you’ll finish your story….”

Okay, so people aren’t really THAT interested.  But still.  Now is your time.  If you have questions for me – about my pregnancy, about my marriage, about my family, about my house, about my aversion to laundry, about my new budget system, about my love affair with all things Target – fire away!  Post your questions in the comments section and I’ll answer as many as possible (or until I get bored) on Monday’s post.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!  Pictures of the non-baby shower will be posted next Tuesday for all those out there holding your breath or not bathing until you know how that works out.  (P.S.  You should be holding your breath for these pictures – they’re gonna be awesome…)

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True Marriage Confessions

I have been accused of not confessing enough about my marriage on this blog.  At first, I thought that was a load of crap.  I give more information than anyone would ever want to know about me.  But the implication here was that I didn’t tell enough secret stuff – things about my marriage that no one really knows (or probably cares about).  Well, we can’t have that!  This is a full disclosure website and I’m willing to step up to the plate.

Without further adieu, I give you:

MY TRUE MARRIAGE CONFESSIONS

1. Sometimes when Chris is downstairs, I call him on his cell phone and ask him to bring me food.

2. One time, Chris and I locked ourselves out of our house because we were making out on the back porch and forgot to check that one of us had a key.  This was last year.

3. I forged Chris’ name last year when we signed our Living Wills.

4. I secretly love my dog, Lucy, more than Chris.  

5. On Saturday mornings when I get up really early, I sometimes kick Chris until he wakes up.  And then I act like I was sleeping and ask him to make me breakfast since he’s already awake.

6. We both have a crush on Jennifer Aniston.

7. We’ve had the same nickname for each other for 10 years.  Pookey.  (Pronounced Pooooookey)

8. Every time Chris has a major milestone event, I give him a lucky coin.  He keeps them in a little dish next to our bed.

9. Sometimes I hide in the bathroom when its time to shovel snow.  

10. One day we both called in sick to work so that we could stay in our pajamas all day and play Wii.

11. One time I rear-ended Chris’ car at a stop light because I was talking on my cell phone.

12. Since I’ve been pregnant, Chris has done the dishes and cleaned the kitchen every single day.  He never complains.

13. When Chris talks to the Bean, he uses the same voice he uses when he plays with our dogs.

14. When Chris stays up later than me, I just lay in bed and wait for him.  Sometimes I sit at the top of our stairs and throw things down to where he’s sitting until he comes to bed, like pennies and washcloths and shoes.

15. Every night, Chris throws his spare change in a jar on our kitchen counter.  Every morning I take change out of the jar to pay the parking meter and to buy snacks out of the vending machines.

16. When Chris snores (when he’s been drinking), I kick him.  When I snore (because I’m preggo), he rubs my face gently until I wake up.

17. I rearrange our Netflicks list so that my movies come up first.

18. I don’t put my parking tickets in our checkbook register until the end of the month so that Chris doesn’t see them.  I get a lot of parking tickets.

19. Chris bites his fingernails down to nubs and the noise drives me freaking crazy.  He also chews ice loudly and that drives me even more crazy.

20. Chris and I talk on Google Chat all day while we are at work.  We send each other messages like, “I just broke my stapler” and “My sandwich is soggy.”

21.  I hate going to bookstores with Chris because he just follows me around.  

22. I’m a better griller than Chris, but he won’t admit that.  But he knows.

23. If we won the lottery, Chris said he would quit his job and become a mechanic.  Just because he has never worked on cars before and he wants to learn.  

24. Chris has a shot glass collection from all the places we’ve traveled.  I hate that collection.  I think its trashy.  He loves it and built a display case for it to hang in our house.  Its hanging in our basement.  I think that’s a fair compromise.

25. We still celebrate our dating anniversary every year.  April 29.  

There.  Now you have even more confessions.  Never let it be said that I didn’t give the people what they wanted.

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I Bake, Therefore I am

Don’t these cookies look delicious?

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I made them myself.  They are peanut butter oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.  Here – have a closer look…

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(Pay no attention to the blue M&M’s.  They are Spiderman M&M’s.  Only thing I had.)

They look so yummy, don’t they?  They make you want to pour a cold glass of milk and cozy up with a blanket and good book.  Funny thing about these cookies though.

THEY TASTE LIKE CRAP.  Total crap.  Like baked crap.  And I just don’t get it.

You know when you go to the beach and you get back in your car with sandy feet and your floor mats get all gritty and nasty?  Well, I imagine that if you were to pick up that floor mat and chew a little bit on one of the corners, you’d probably get a similar taste to these cookies.  Something tasting like sand and concrete.  And feet.

These cookies turned out like all my other baked goods do.  They look edible.  They smell edible.  They feel edible.  But when you bite into them – dirt.  Pure dirt.  They are gritty and dry and these particular cookies have a funky texture to them.  I think its the oatmeal.

And I just don’t get it.  I follow the recipes perfectly.  I measure carefully, preheat my oven, use room temperatured butter.  And nothing.  I get nothing in return.  This is not a new problem for me either.  I had this issue in our old apartment.  At the time, I blamed it on my oven but now I live in a new house with a new oven and I still get the same old results.  I’m starting to think its a user error.  But I honestly don’t know what my error is.  Any monkey can follow a recipe…  right???

I made Chris try one.  He kind of chewed it and then smiled painfully and made a “MMMmmm…” noise.  I’m sure he meant it to mean, “MMMmmm….Yummy…” but it came out more like, “MMMmmm…I want to throw up.”  And I can’t even get mad at him because I had the same reaction.

And its not everything in my kitchen that turns out like this.  I can cook pretty good.  I’m a Crock Pot Queen.  I can bake a hell of a muffin.  And chicken breasts fear me.  Its just cookies.  No cookie has survived my kitchen yet.

OH, COOKIE GODS!  WHY HAVE THOU TURNED FROM ME?!?!?

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Filed under Marriage, Random, Suburbia

I Will Still Laugh at These Things

This morning as I was driving to work, I saw 2 kids walking on the sidewalk to school.  The oldest couldn’t have been any older than 2nd grade and the youngest was definitely in kindergarten.  They were clearly brother and sister, and were dressed for the brisk 25 degrees this morning. They reminded me of the younger brother in that movie, A Christmas Story.  They were so bundled up that the could barely put their arms down.

My car was stopped at a traffic light and when they got just next to me, I guess the older brother hit a patch of ice on the sidewalk because his feet went flying out from underneath him.  Not wanting to crash and burn on his own, he instinctively reached for his little sister.  But the sudden weight of her brother and the ice under her feet sent her flying as well, and they ended up falling in a heap on top of each other.

I died laughing.  Really.  I couldn’t stop.  I was sitting in my car, rolling with laughter at these 2 kids piled up on the sidewalk.  What can I say?  I love me some live comedy.

But then, the woman in the car in front of me put her car in park and got out to see if the kids were okay.  She helped them up and checked them for bleeding (or concussions, I guess) and then got back in her car and drove away once she knew they were okay.

Note to self:  When a child slips and falls on ice, don’t laugh.  At least, don’t laugh until you’ve checked them for head injuries.

These are all things I’m filing away for when the Beaner is born.  Scary, huh?

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True Confessions

I have some things to get off my chest.  Some things I’ve done this week that I need to confess.  Judge me if you will…

Make Up Confession

Yesterday I took a brand new thing of blush back to the Mac counter at Macy’s and told them that I had recently purchased the blush there, but when I got home and opened it the blush was shattered.  They exchanged it right on the spot.

It is true that I recently purchased the blush from that counter.  And when I opened it for the first time, the blush was shattered.  But I didn’t tell them that 2 seconds before I opened the blush for the first time, I dropped it down my stairs.

I need to confess this make up sin so that the make up gods do not curse me by discontinuing my favorite make up products for the rest of my life.

Dog Bath Confession

I hate bathing my dogs.  I usually pay a large amount of money so that I can drop them off at a salon smelling like poo and pick them up in a few hours smelling like sunshine.  But we are poor this month after all our holiday excitement and I can’t take them to the dog salon without taking out a second mortgage on my house.  And Chris won’t agree to co-sign with me for that, so I have been forced to bathe them myself.

So, a few days ago I cleaned them with a lint roller and then I sprayed them with Febreeze.  This might raise all kinds of red flags about what kind of mother I will be, but I’ll just have to think about that on another day.

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Filed under Around the House, Lucy, Molly, Money, Random