Its that most wonderful time of the year again. Girl Scout Cookie season! This is my favorite season. Winter is wonderful. Spring is spectacular. But Girl Scout Cookie season is glorious. Its no coincidence to me that they come around the Easter season because they are the epitome of God’s graciousness. Tag-a-longs and Jesus.
Every year I order at least 10 boxes. At. Least.
A lot of people go for the Thin Mints. Those are pretty good. But I’m partial to the Tag-a-longs myself. Crunchy cookie, creamy peanut butter, all wrapped in a milk chocolate hug…
Sorry, I blacked out for a minute. Where was I?
Ah, yes… Tag-a-longs. I also really love the Somoas, and the great thing about those is that Chris doesn’t like them so I get the whole box to myself. Wanna see what the end of the world looks like? Try interrupting me when I’m chowing on some Somoas. I dare you.
This year, however, I made a colossal mistake. Huge. I forgot to order cookies. I remembered one morning a few weeks ago, but when I asked my dealer (a.k.a. the guy in my office who sells them for his niece) about his supply, he said that the sign up sheet had come and gone. I about lost it. Right there next to the office water cooler.
How would I live? How could I go on? I had missed Girl Scout Cookie season! Life was not worth living. Not at all.
Fortunately, my quick-thinking husband ordered them at his office from a co-worker so we were covered. The only downside was that he’s cheap and skinny and so he only ordered something lame like 4 boxes. But that’s 4 more boxes than I ordered, so I didn’t complain…for long.
But it has been MONTHS now. MONTHS. And the cookies have not been delivered. I keep asking Chris when we’re supposed to get them, but all he says is that I need to settle down.
Settle down? How am I supposed to settle down when everywhere I turn someone is eating a Girl Scout Cookie? How am I supposed to settle down when I have visions of Tag-a-longs haunting my dreams? How am I supposed to settle down when I’m settling for Oreos in my cookie jar instead of Somoas? HOW, CHRIS? TELL ME HOW!
I finally convinced him to at least ask the guy at his office when they were supposed to be in, and the guy said this week. But are there Girl Scout Cookies in my hand? No. Are there Girl Scout Cookies in my lunch? No. No there are not. And this is completely unacceptable. I tried to get Chris to call the guy again today, but he won’t do it. I said he should explain to him that his wife is pregnant and unstable and in desperate need of a Girl Scout Cookie, but he still wouldn’t do it.
“Fine,” I said. “Then give me his number. I’ll place an anonymous phone call.”
“I don’t think so,” Chris replied. “I think you need to chill out a little. They are just cookies.”
Clearly, Chris is not 6 months pregnant or he would know what a stupid comment that is.
Time are tough, people. Really tough. I’ve got bills to pay, children to make, husbands to tame, and eyebrows that seriously need waxing. All I’m asking for is a cookie.
Is that too much to ask?